Adios, Estados Unidos.

Well, tomorrow is the day! I'll be leaving bright and early to board a plane to Ecuador, which will be my home for the next four months. After years of anticipating this day, it has finally come! I have always dreamed of studying abroad, and against the odds God has still allowed it to happen. Honestly, I sometimes feel like I'd rather not go...just because I'll be without family and friends in a new country, trying to function in a new language and in a formal social work setting for the first time. All the same, I know I don't feel this way because God doesn't want me there--in fact, I think it's pretty clear that he does, so I'm just going to have to trust him with the nerves. Everyone I know who has done what I'm about to do has loved it, and I know Ecuador will benefit me so much as a Christian and a social worker. 

I'm sorry if I sound sentimental, but this spring is going to be yet another new challenge for AJ and me. Sure, we've been living apart for months now, but we've been able to see each other at least one weekend a month. We've been able to talk on the phone every night and text throughout the day. None of this will be happening while I'm abroad! Whenever I'm tempted to feel really sad about it, though (which happens frequently), I tell myself it's not even a deployment. He's safe, we'll only be apart for four and a half months (exactly half a deployment these days), and we'll probably communicate at least as much as if he was at war, if not more. And best of all, this is the home stretch! We'll be reunited for a good while once I come back, as long as the Army doesn't pull any shenanigans. ;) All of this is so much better than what we were told a few months ago. So with that, I say this Army couple better get it together, because we're supposed to be tough! Hooah.

Anyway, my suitcases and backpack are all packed and ready to follow me to South America...Resisting the temptation to fiddle with them when they're already weighed and zipped shut! Soon I'll be off to see one last friend, chat with my husband on the phone one last time, and then...it's time for South America to meet Mrs. U!

The Sun Bowl and New Mexico.

On Monday AJ and I went to the Sun Bowl, as he'd been given two free tickets from the Army. He wasn't sure if I'd want to go because I'm not into football, but I had been wishing we'd attended more Illinois games so I was pretty excited about going. We got to the game a little late because parking is just plain crazy there--there are no signs for where to go and you need a UTEP permit to get even remotely close to the stadium. We made it, though. While at the game we enjoyed some nachos and funnel cake, along with a halftime show where both USC and Georgia Tech performed. We left not too long after halftime because it was not a sunny Sun Bowl! It was an unusually chilly day for El Paso.

We had a tough time finding something to do on Tuesday, as it was a federal holiday and all the museums are closed. I suggested we check out Las Cruces, a decently large city in New Mexico mentioned by the Army couple we had lunch with. Eventually we ended up deciding to visit Historic Old Mesilla, a quaint historic town with some fun shops and restaurants to visit. We enjoyed a peaceful walk around the area, where the buildings are all original. We found an old, authentic New Mexican restaurant for lunch, which was really fun. I definitely felt like we got to sample the local culture there.

Once we finished at Mesilla it was a lengthy drive to our next stop, White Sands National Monument. White Sands is located near the White Sands Missile Range, so on the drive out there you see nothing but mountains and desert foliage. We had to go through a border control checkpoint, which was a first for me! We didn't know exactly what to do, but thankfully the officer didn't think we looked suspicious.

White Sands National Monument is a vast area of gypsum sand dunes in the middle of the desert. Basically, it has formed from gypsum that erodes off the surrounding mountains and washes into the basin when it rains. It's definitely a place unlike anything else you've ever seen--in fact, it's by far the largest gypsum desert in the world. After driving in the middle of nowhere for what seemed like too long, we arrived. Luckily for us, the whole excursion was free because we're active duty military. You drive through the path made in the desert, and there are plenty of places to stop and explore along the way. It's incredible to be in such a quiet, peaceful place surrounded by mountains and endless white sand dunes. Although we didn't have time to do a ton of exploring, we loved visiting such a unique, breathtaking place together.

Our evening was pretty uneventful, as it was our last night together until mid-May. I don't think it's registered in my mind that I won't see AJ for nearly five months, but maybe that's a good thing. I'll miss him terribly, but we're so thankful that this is the last leg of our journey apart at this point. As long as I know where he is and that he is safe, I'll be fine.

Weekend at Fort Bliss.

Last Friday I flew to El Paso for the holiday weekend because AJ couldn't take leave to come to Illinois. It was my first time flying alone, and my first time in Texas. After a delayed takeoff due to the snowy Chicago weather, I finally landed in El Paso around 3:45pm. AJ was waiting there at baggage claim, holding a sign with our last name and a little bouquet of roses. He had come straight from work and changed out of his uniform in order to not attract attention. I told him he was silly because everyone would think it was cute. So cute that he was afraid someone would take a picture and post it online somewhere.

AJ still had work left to do for the day, so we headed back to post. I loved sitting in his office and meeting the people he works with, including the battalion commander for the rear detachment and the other sergeants. However, it turned out to be a very long work day, finally ending at 10:30pm. Not exactly the best introduction to our new home after traveling all day. 

On Saturday we definitely took our time in the morning. After an early lunch at Arby's AJ showed me around post, where we stopped at the PX to find a hat for my dad as a late Christmas present. Fort Bliss is a lot more industrial looking than Fort Lee--I'm not sure if it's the geography or the way they are built or both. The PX is great, however. Everything is very new and there are a lot more restaurants and stores to choose from. 

Next we headed to the other side of the mountains, stopping at a state park to hike around a little bit. AJ showed me around a little bit more before we stopped by the apartment where he stays right now. We had dinner at a local sushi restaurant before driving back across the mountains, gazing out the car window at the U.S.-Mexico border along the way. It was pretty cool driving past the ramp that takes you into Juarez, although AJ's not allowed to go there.

We ended our night by watching Les Miserables in the theater on post, where apparently you have to stand for the national anthem before the previews start. We loved the movie. 

On Sunday we went to the church AJ attends. The more traditional service definitely took some getting used to--I didn't know what was going on for a lot of it, but overall I enjoyed the liturgy. We met another Army couple there, and they invited us out to a local fast food taco restaurant. The chain actually started in Juarez and migrated over to the U.S. The salsa bar was definitely the highlight for me. :)




After lunch we took the scenic route over the mountains, although we didn't linger at the overlooks along the way because it was a bit cooler today. We stopped to switch phone plans and buy AJ a new pair of shoes, taking our time so that we would drive over the mountains after dark to see the cities at night. After a rough start, I would say El Paso is redeeming itself. It's definitely nothing like home, but we agree that if we're forced to move we might as well be somewhere different. Either way, the Army won't keep us here long!

The year in review.

Needless to say, 2012 was a big year for AJ and me. We...

Went to Haiti for a week (me)

Got engaged at the Garfield Park Conservatory

Found out AJ's BOLC date and duty station

Decided to get married more than a year sooner than we had planned

Planned a wedding in 2.5 months

Graduated from UIUC with a degree in kinesiology (AJ)

Commissioned as a 2LT in the U.S. Army (AJ)

Got married

Went on a honeymoon to the East Coast

Moved to Fort Lee, Virginia for BOLC

Explored Virginia for a summer and lived in our first place courtesy of the Army

Drove back to Illinois for senior year of college (me)

Moved to Fort Bliss, Texas (AJ)

Found out AJ would not be in Afghanistan before Christmas, contrary to what we were told

Finished exams early and had a thyroidectomy (me)

Celebrated our first married Christmas together

Visited Fort Bliss for the first time (me)

2013 holds some continued excitement and uncertainty for us. I'll start the year in Ecuador, completing my field placement. I'll graduate college and move to a completely new part of the country soon after, not knowing how I'll start my career here. We're both finding our way in the world without living near our families and friends. We need to find a place in El Paso where we feel at home. And of course, when you're in the Army you just never know what's going to happen to you next. I'll keep you posted on all that, and until then, here are a few pictures...

End of an era.

Since you last heard from me, I've finished my last semester of classes and had half an organ cut out of my body. You know, small stuff. But really...it's actually pretty small stuff.

The time after Thanksgiving was like a race to the finish line for me. I was on schedule to finish my semester on December 4, which is about a week and a half early. As I went to my last classes and my last shifts at work, I did my best to keep the sentimentality at bay. It definitely felt a bit surreal to end my days at Trinity after being there for the past 3.5 years of my life, and I think it still feels that way. 

Last Wednesday I had surgery to remove half of my thyroid due to a rather large growth that was in fact growing, not shrinking with treatment. AJ was in town for this, and of course my parents, cousin (and beloved MOH), and grandparents all came to the hospital to see me. In a way, I'm thankful to have had this experience so I can understand what it's like for people who have to stay in a hospital. I was feeling vulnerable and pretty exhausted by the time they discharged me, since the IV, the pain, and the constant parade of nurses and doctors in and out of my room meant I got no sleep! I'm recovering really well though, and at long last we have confirmed that I do not have cancer. Nowadays I just have to get used to putting a little more thought into what I wear, because if I don't hide the incision with a scarf it is pretty darn obvious. Today was the first day I went out without a scarf (on my roomie's graduation day, no less!) and for the most part I felt pretty good. There were times when I felt a little self-conscious, but overall it wasn't too bad. I'm sure my friend's parents have asked her what happened to me, but that's okay. I need to get comfortable with it because I just can't hide it all the time.

AJ's gone now, and for some reason it was harder to say goodbye to him than usual. There are probably a number of reasons--I don't have work and school to distract me, my body is still reeling from surgery, we're running out of time before I leave the country...and who knows what else. I always get restless when he leaves, so I'm constantly moving and trying to distract myself even though I had surgery on my neck ten days ago.

AJ's battalion also deployed on Thursday night, so that was definitely a sobering moment for us. Up until mid-October, he was supposed to deploy to Afghanistan with them. Needless to say, things were rough during that time for us. There is just no way to describe how it feels to be a new wife and to have your husband come home and tell you he's going to war. Especially when you're already facing about nine months apart. Although it is still challenging not to deploy, God has truly worked a miracle for us and we are so grateful. Either way, there was nothing we could do, so I'm trusting that this is best for us. The feelings we have about the deployment are complex, but still I am so, so thrilled to know that he's safe. Leaving Virginia was extremely painful; thankfully I'm not seeing him off to war this year too. It makes me think of the other women I'll meet who saw their husbands off this week. Prayers abound for them. I can only hope to have the opportunity to befriend them and serve them once I move to Fort Bliss. I know AJ feels the same way--if he can't have the honor of serving with most of his battalion, I know he has a heart for doing everything he can for them stateside. 

Thanksgiving.

To my surprise, and happiness, AJ flew back to Illinois on Thanksgiving Day. So what did we do to celebrate another weekend together?

I picked AJ up from the airport around 1:30 and we headed straight to his parents' house, since we missed the festivities at Aunt R's place. We had a good time catching up with his family before heading to my grandparents' farm for Thanksgiving dinner. My grandfather cooked an amazing spread, as always. This year he and my cousin took it upon themselves to cook nine pumpkin pies, including a whole pie for AJ and me to take home. The night included a big game of Apples to Apples for us younger folks, during which AJ and I discovered we're starting to think way too much alike. Towards the end of the night, my maid of honor and I planned out our first tattoo, which will hopefully be happening before I leave the country in January. Yep, this woman is soon to be inked! Like just about everyone else in my generation, of course.

Friday was a pretty chill day for us. Because we had no food aside from Thanksgiving leftovers, AJ treated us to a delicious breakfast at a local restaurant. They have the best black coffee I've ever had, and adding cream or sugar would be a crime. Which my husband did, of course. We came back to Aunt L's house for a little bit while I struggled to finish a paper. Soon enough I had given up, so we headed to my parents' house to recruit my little sister for a game of Scrabble. Which I won, fair and square. ;)

On Friday night we saw my family again at my youngest cousin's birthday party. It was a nice visit before we headed up to the city for a special date, just the two of us. These days when we're together we like to treat ourselves to a stay downtown just to do something special and make some memories. Let me tell you, we're going to be hotel connoisseurs before we know it. Anyway, it was great to get away and feel totally alone in a different place together. All the same, I told AJ that when we actually have our own place again I'm never going to want to leave. 

The next morning we had breakfast at Dunkin' Donuts (yes, we come all the way to the Loop for coffee and breakfast sandwiches available anywhere else) and headed for the aquarium, someplace we love but haven't been to in years. We saw nearly everything there was to see and had a great time. We visited with AJ's parents again that night before returning to Aunt L's place. It's become a habit for us to watch a movie on our last night together, because it's easy to do even if you're feeling sad about saying goodbye to your spouse the next day. Last night we were still feeling inspired from our visit to the aquarium, so we watched our favorite episode of Blue Planet. If there's one thing we've learned by now, it's how to get really good at saying goodbye. When you do it a lot, you learn the tricks of how to make it less painful and how to avoid having expectations of your last few hours together. Believe it or not, there are Army resources out there just giving advice on saying goodbye. But in the end, nothing compares to how it felt when I drove away from our home together alone, knowing I'd never be back. No doubt about it, the Army has a habit of forcing you to be tough when you don't think you can.


So, AJ left again today. We stopped at an oasis close to the airport for a romantic last lunch together--Panda Express, of course. After one last kiss goodbye (no tears!) I was on my way with just the voice of NPR to keep me company. 

Looking Ahead.

A lot has been happening in our little family lately! I'll start with AJ's move to Texas first. He's been there for about a couple weeks now and seems to be settling in nicely, not surprisingly. My husband makes friends wherever he goes and has a gift for being pretty content in what may be challenging circumstances. His first week and a half was spent living in a hotel and going through what's called "in processing", which is what you do every time you PCS (permanent change of station). He killed the physical readiness test apparently--nothing like being the new 2nd lieutenant in town and proving the altitude doesn't stop you from running a 5:30 mile! I wish my body worked that way. 

On the Army side of things, we've learned that AJ's job will be in support operations for the rear detachment. Meaning, he's the lead officer coordinating supplies for the brigade his unit supports in Afghanistan. This is already a big job, and he is filling a position left by a major, which is several levels of rank above him. He has huge shoes to fill, but I know he can do it! I'm so proud, and SO happy that it looks like we're avoiding the war for now. That is truly a miracle. 

Meanwhile, AJ's been making friends in the Army and at the church he's connected with through a friend in college. He's already met some great people there and is in fact staying with a family for the next few months. He's expected to find an apartment on his own, so this will give him time to save money and get acquainted with the city before trying to find us a place to live. He's really impressed with the church thus far, and says that the congregation has in fact been praying for an opportunity to build connections on post. This church is outside of what we're used to, but I trust my husband and try to remain open to where God leads us. Apparently our new home is the newest and largest military installation in the world, and 10,000 more soldiers are scheduled to be transferred there. I guess it's a happening place!

Since AJ moved Texas we've been having conversations about how difficult it is for one of us to settle down and start a life in our future home while the other is gone. It's tougher for me now that I can't picture him in a state I've never visited and don't have any memories of our life there. As a husband and wife, we should be doing things like finding a church and a home together. I'm a little afraid of moving down there next summer and finding out that AJ has already made a life without me. It's a legitimate fear, and it's not uncommon in the military, but at this point I think we both still feel something's missing whenever we're apart. Let's hope it stays that way.

Over here on my end, I'm still working on finishing this darn degree and hoping I can get a job, because there isn't an opportunity for me to go to grad school where we'll be living. I'm trying to stay positive and take things one day at a time, but it's not easy being an Army spouse and trying to start a career. Of course, it's not easy being anybody and trying to start a career, but when you can't control where you live and how long you will be there a whole new dimension of difficulty is added. For instance, my social work license won't carry over from state to state, so that's one hurdle I'll have to tackle.

In other news, just purchased my plane ticket to Ecuador today! And now I'm officially out of money just in time for Christmas ;) I'll be completing my field placement there in the spring. Sooo excited and a little freaked out about learning to do my job in a foreign country! Now to keep accumulating documents to prove I'm an upright citizen so that Ecuador will grant me a visa.... ;)